Hallmark

Dear John,

This week Hallmark offered me the opportunity to go for a two week placement due to a cancelation. I was very excited about this as it's the boost I need to remind me why I bother trying with this course and a way to provide me with some work experience that I quite desperately need. The issue is that they want me to come in this monday so I have no time to prepare anything or find out what I'll be actually doing or need. Fred really wanted me to turn it down under the idea of concern that I wouldn't be able to keep up with my work and that if I'm stressed now then I'll be doubly so after the two weeks. All of this was true and why I sent off the email with his compromise of suggesting I do two days a week for the next four weeks. However after the meeting with him and after I went home I couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than I'd made a massive mistake and that I'd given up on the one thing I'd been actually excited about for the first time in, well in probably the time it's been since I was accepted onto this course. When I came into college the day I was asked to do it, I felt like I could do anything. After talking to Fred I felt like I couldn't do anything good enough and that all the time and effort I've been putting in hasn't been worth it. it was from this great divide that I decided I had to take them up on their offer, I couldn't turn down an opportunity that I obviously cared about when I find it hard to care about most things. So I spoke to him again first over email where I overstepped my bounds in being frank and frustrated that instead of helping me like he said they would do if any of use got a similar opportunity he was just giving me the disclaimer that the course wasn't going to take any responsibility for my actions and wouldn't move around any deadlines. I honestly never expected any of that and was a little insulted that was all he would say to me when I was trying to go against his advice in the most inoffensive way I could think of and was trying to make my commitment to staying working clear. However as the student and him being high ranking here I am in no position to say any of my frustration to him. This made the couple of days I had between getting the offer and when it starts even less as I spent so much of it trying to do things the way I thought Fred would like (the being honest and trying to sit down with him to work out a time plan rather than the emails) rather than just going for what I wanted myself. To be honest I should have come directly to you but I knew you would be busy and I got this between mondays. All of this seems to have been harder than it should have been when I already didn't have a lot of time. But anyway enough of my emotions about it and more about the practicalities. I've planned my time so that every night I'll becoming straight from Hallmark to my college to do my work including saturday daytimes, I'll also be doing what work I can on Sundays. It'll be unpleasantly hard but it's what I'll have to do to be able o do both the things I want to do. Also the welcome pack they sent over has mentioned how they'll look through my portfolio, which I don't have and won't have time to pull together but I emailed them to say this and she said it won't be a problem. I'm trying to quickly make a professional website to show them instead but it's proving a little more difficult than I thought.